Thursday, May 3rd

The days (and nights) started running together at this point. But today, WAS going to be significant. About mid-morning we received a call from Jonique that the potential birth father wanted to meet us. We were completely torn about what to do. So we contacted our attorney to see what he thought and he said to go ahead and meet him. Instantly our minds began to race about all the horrible things he might say or do (or even just look like). I wonder how I might have been perceived, because I felt that I would have to be ready for anything (like him attempting to physically take Mark from us at the Restaurant). We called Jonique back and said that we would meet with him—in fact, let’s have dinner at a restaurant (a public place seemed the only option to me).

So we went to Copeland’s (another fine Louisiana restaurant with great Jambalaya!) LaDonna and I both had little to no appetite; it might be the first time we ever shared a meal. We ordered the Jambalaya Pasta (Shrimp, chicken, andouille and smoked sausages, all in a spicy jambalaya sauce with peppers and mushrooms over penne pasta), I don't think we even ate half of it. It would have been really good, in a different setting. My e-mail to family summarizes our evening nicely, plus it’s easier to cut and paste, than really remember!:

The meeting with the birth father went very well. We didn't think he would see Mark and simply give us custody. We do think that we gave him a lot to think about and possibly that his comfort level may have increased when he could see where Mark is and who he is with. He was very gracious, reasonable, and quite likable--we're not sure how to feel about this--it was somewhat easier when he was seen as the "enemy." We continue to pray that he is not the birth father or that he comes to the conclusion that it's best for Mark to be with us. We will continue to fight him legally if need be, but at least we know that if he is the birth father, he's not a "loser." He repeated over and over that he doesn't want to hurt anyone and that he is incredibly torn. It was clear that he fell in love when seeing Mark--a risk we felt was worth taking at this point. We exchanged contact info and took pictures with him, even hugged at the end of the dinner with many tears shed on both sides. I think the birth father and we agree that the birth mother did not handle this well by not telling him and we believe she sees the pain she has caused in so many lives now by not being up front. It's not clear if she really knows who the birth father is (between two).

LaDonna and I are exhausted at our own speculations and realize that only God knows how this will turn out. The lesson in patience and trust has been more than I thought we could bear, but it's amazing what you can do when you have to. Thank you all for continuing to pray to God to make Mark a permanent part of our family.

We hope to be home by Wednesday or Thursday next week--but won't hold our breath.

About 20 minutes after we got back to the hotel, Donovan (the potential birth father), called LaDonna’s cell phone to say thanks for meeting with him—we think it was a test to see if we gave him a good number. We immediately sent several pictures & our profile by e-mail to him as promised. We also sent him this question to which we never received a reply: “We did think of a question that we wish we had asked you. We hope you take it with the same spirit as the rest of our conversation at the restaurant. If you are not the biological father, does it change the way you feel about Mark Andrew?” I would have liked to know what went through his mind when he read it.

We spoke to immediate family by phone that evening and received great encouragement that we made a good decision in meeting with Donovan. We also were appropriately pointed back to God for strength. It’s been said many times, but it’s worth repeating—“you can hear God say, ‘You’ll never understand that I’m all you need, until I’m all you have.’”

Wednesday, May 2nd

The rollercoaster continued: We would thoroughly enjoy the moments we would have with Mark, but then also hate thinking about possibly losing him. We didn’t want to be blind to reality, yet we also didn’t want it to spoil our first few days with Mark. The only thing that stood out that day was the e-mail summary from our attorney. Here is an excerpt:

As you know, apparently when the birth mother contacted American adoptions, she was apparently less than clear on who the birth father was. When I was contacted to handle this case as the birth mother was having her baby, apparently the birth mother was still saying she was unsure as to who the birth father was. She would not give me a name. When I went to see the birth mother at the hospital after she had her baby she still would not give me a name. Apparently the day after I saw her in the hospital, I was informed by both Lara and the Blakemore's that a gentleman showed up at the hospital and said he might be the father. The Blakemore's were there.

As we were preparing for her on Monday, I was contacted by American adoptions again stating that a gentleman called the agency and said he thought he might be the father. He wanted blood tests. The agency felt that perhaps things could be worked out with this gentleman. The agency told me that if he was the father he would just like letters and pictures. The agency gave this gentleman my name and number. The agency told me about this and I contacted the person. She told me about a meeting she had over the weekend with a gentleman who she thought might be the father. Based on the way she stated this and based upon her previous comment about the gentleman who showed up at the hospital probably not being the father, I thought that perhaps the gentleman she talked to over the weekend was someone else. As I talked more to both American adoptions and the birth mother over the course of Monday morning, I realized that both gentlemen were in fact the same person. He called me and related the fact that he thought he might be the father. He said he wanted blood tests. I tried to guide the conversation by affirming that I had talked to American adoptions about his conversation with them. I tried to further guide the conversation by expressing our appreciation for his willingness to work with us (further referring to his statement to American adoptions that he just wanted letters and pictures). Unfortunately, he didn't take the guidance. He suggested that if the baby was his he wanted the child. He then told me that he was represented by an attorney. I was extremely respectful but I explained to him that if he is represented by an attorney, I could no longer talk directly to him. He immediately stated that he wasn't represented by an attorney but was thinking about one he would hire. Still, I told him once he mentioned the fact that he had an attorney or was considering hiring an attorney I could no longer talk directly to him. I made it perfectly clear to him that I was not trying to be difficult. He understood completely.

I discuss all of this with the Blakemore's in detail before the act of surrender. They understood and were comfortable with proceeding. I explained to them that if we end up having to fight, that would be a separate legal matter involving separate and additional legal fees. They understood completely. I was still hoping this would all go away. Wade, as you and Lara know, a significant number of the alleged birth fathers that claim they want to object to an adoption at the last second of the adoption, simply disappear. Unfortunately, I do not think this gentleman will just disappear. As I explained to the Blakemore's yesterday, an attorney contacted me on Tuesday and said that he was retained by this gentleman. Again he reiterated the fact that they wanted blood tests. (I will explain why I keep bringing up the issue of blood tests shortly). He said he would send me a letter to that effect. I again attempted to guide the conversation by suggesting that I understand his fear, that I will do everything I can to alleviate his fear, and that I would work with him in any way I could (for example, have him meet with the adopting couple, get him pictures and letters) if we could work out the adoption. Again, he did not take the opportunity to follow my guidance in this matter. He said that his client is not in favor of the adoption if the baby is his.

Since I have not had any involvement with this birth mother prior to her having the child, I can not evaluate the social history of the birth mother that got us to where we are now. We can only go with the cards that are on the table now.

Now some detail and analysis as to where we go from here: There is a lot of good news. First, I have explained to the Blakemore's that just because he says the child is his doesn't mean it's so. Even if he is the father, he has to pass to other substantial hurdles to prevent the adoption. Again I have explained these hurdles. Most importantly, he will have to show what active and substantial steps he has taken during the birth mother's pregnancy and since the birth of the child to assume his parental responsibilities. The law requires substantial personal and financial involvement during the pregnancy. The birth mother has told me on several occasions that whoever the birth father is, none of the possibilities have been substantially personally financially involved in her life during her pregnancy. Assuming Mr. "X" admits this; his only defense would be that he did not know about the pregnancy. This is a weak defense on several fronts. First of all, it lays him wide open for some very damaging cross-examination ("so you slept with her nine months ago and never chose to check on her?" or "you slept with her nine months ago, you say you want to be a father and yet he never even called her to see how your child was doing?” etc.). Beyond this, I think I can have him walk down the path of never really expecting the fact that this was his child by bringing up the issue of him constantly requesting blood tests. This certainly would be considered something less than a substantial commitment to the child. In other words, I want the Blakemore's to know that I will fight for them as hard as I know how. I want them to remember that I do know adoptions and that I will be there for them. I know there will be extra attorney fees and I am sorry about that, but I will fight for them.

Should anyone have any questions, please feel free to contact me. I will be talking to you soon and I will be keeping everyone informed.

Michael T.

We were appreciative of the summary, but it didn’t exactly help us relax. We did all we could to try to not let it ruin our time with Mark—but hotel rooms in strange cities aren’t very conducive for this.

Tuesday, May 1st

Our hearts were heavy that morning. The emotional toll of yesterday rushed into our minds when we got up with Mark each time that morning. We knew that we had to have lunch with the birth mother and grandmother and get the medical records from the hospital and drive them to Baton Rouge. We didn’t want to think about the possibility of having to part with Mark, but everything we did that day reminded us of that possibility.

We again picked up Jonique and her mother at their apartment. We asked them to show us a place with some real Cajun cooking—heck we were in Louisiana! Might as well enjoy something we can’t get back home. So they took us to a place called Prejean’s (www.prejeans.com), subtitled “Simply Cajun.” You knew you were in the south when what greeted you at the door wasn’t a nice Elk head or even a Mountain Lion stuffed—no, a 30ft. Alligator! (which you can kind of see in the pic below). We had to have them explain what some of the menu items were, like “crawfish boudin balls” (Our chef’s house recipe of savory crawfish and rice boulettes fried golden and served by the half dozen). LaDonna had crawfish enchiladas (Fresh crawfish tails, chilies & cheeses rolled in 2 flour tortillas, topped with crawfish & Creaole sauces, cheddar cheese and baked golden. Served with dirty rice and corn macque choux) and I had blackened shrimp skillet creole (6 large Louisiana shrimp dusted with the Magic of the Bayou, lightly blackened and served with our famous red beans & rice). It was all really good. This little bumper sticker they sold let you know you were in the bayou!

Our conversations went well again with Jonique and her mother—we were amazed at Jonique’s apparent strength through all of this. At one point when LaDonna had left to change Mark, I let Jonique know more details about that last Thursday night. She said she’d talk to him and “straighten him out.” We hoped so.

When lunch was over, I dropped LaDonna and Mark off at the hotel and then took Jonique and her mother to the hospital—she had to sign to give us the records. When that was done I took both of them home and then prepared to drive to Baton Rouge myself to our attorney’s office. It was one of the longest 100-mile (round trip) drives I’ve ever taken. I have never felt so alone and yet grateful that God is on my side. I don’t know how unbelievers deal with big life events—to think that everything is random and somewhat meaningless, especially pain, would be so far beyond depressing. While I was driving to the attorney, LaDonna received a call from our attorney. She called me on the road to tell me. I’ll paste her e-mail to immediate family here:

Sent: Tuesday, May 01, 2007 1:47 PM
We received a call from our attorney just a little bit ago letting us know that the one potential birth father does want to have a paternity test done and that if he is the father he is going to fight for him. We are trusting in God to help us understand all that is really happening here. We feel like we are in a very bad dream and want to wake up and discover this is not what is really happening and that our minds are just playing tricks on us since we are sleep deprived!

We had lunch with Jonique and her mom. Troy was able to talk to Jonique a little bit about the potential birth father while I was changing Mark in the restroom. I also called her once I got off of the phone with the attorney. She said that she is going to call this guy and get him straightened out. I pray for that conversation as I don't want him to get even more angry with her and want to fight harder.

Troy is driving to Baton Rouge now to take the medical records to the attorney. Please pray for him as he is driving and thinking about all that is going on and I am not there with him. Pray that God will comfort him as he is driving and keep him safe. The drivers are worse here than in Phoenix if you can believe that!

We have received so many encouraging emails. Words cannot express how much that means to us. We feel like we are in the fight of our life and realize it is not our fight! It is God's and we know HIS will be done, even if it is not ours. We are trying to soak up every moment that we can with Mark. We believe that we will be able to bring him back to Arizona, but we don't know when. Our attorney is going to try to get it to where we will have our portion of the tests done in AZ, but we don't know for sure if that will happen. I am hoping he will be able to talk to Troy when he gets there and have more details for us.

We will keep you posted...

Thank you again for your prayers.

Love,

Troy and LaDonna

When I arrived at the attorney’s office, he was gone for the day, so I didn’t get any more information. I just wanted to get back to the hotel as soon as I could. LaDonna and I shed a lot of tears that evening. We received a lot of encouraging e-mails and phone calls that day—God knew we needed it. Here are a couple e-mails that stood out that day:

From Troy’s cousin Matt & Marie:

Dearest Troy and LaDonna,

Hang in there! Don’t give up until God’s best is realized! I don’t know if this little boy is your son forever or just for little while, none of us ever know that-birth parents or adoptive parents. This is what parenting is. Control is nothing more than an illusion God allows us from time to time, especially when it comes to assisting Him in getting our children, raising them and then letting them go. God is making your entire way! He won’t just bring you a child and then say, “Wow, those fees really added up! Hope you can work that out”. You trust Him for all of it! You can do this! You are doing this! Praise Him! Thanks sincerely for the update! We will continue to pray…always because getting our children is just part of the story! Then comes the raising them!!! God is able, and therefore we are. Be well, and trust in Him. God’s best is happening in you, through you, and for you!

With all our love,

M&M

And this one from Troy’s brother:

Troy and LaDonna,

I received a call from DeLinda and my heart is heavy for you all and Mark. I’ll be praying with great expectation that God will strengthen you as you ready yourself for this fight. The fight of course isn’t against flesh and blood but against principalities and the rulers of darkness, so may the Word bring great strength to you as this all proceeds. We will be ready to support you in any way possible including financial when you figure out more details. We look forward to talking with you more tonight.

Terry

I remember at one point saying to either Terry or my dad on the phone, that I felt so sad for Mark in all of this—that his chance to be with a mother and a father, who have the time to really care for him and raise him up to love Jesus, might be taken from him. I think that Tuesday might have been one of the worst days of my life that I can remember. The pain in my stomach and my mind that I could not shake seemed unbearable, and then God would send someone to encourage us through e-mail or a phone call. The realization that no children are “owned” by their parents, but are on loan to us, gave us great perspective and helped ease our minds and the pain—and re-focused us to soak up every last minute with Mark that we could. We simply don’t know the future and nothing is promised. If you’re not familiar with Casting Crowns, their song “Praise you in this Storm” seemed to be playing often on the Christian Radio station we found in Lafayette. Its lyrics would constantly bring comfort and yet remind us of the truth that God gives and takes away—I’ve posted them here:

"Praise You In This Storm"

I was sure by now
That You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

Finally, this reminded me of a post I’d seen on my pastor’s blog:

"Today 10,000 airplanes will take off and land and no one will stop to thank God for the grace that it took to make it safely. But as soon as anything bad happens, we are quick to call God's love and goodness into question."

LaDonna and I pray that we continue to trust God for all that he’s done and will do—regardless of the circumstance.

Too cute not to post

I simply couldn't resist posting this picture. It was taken at LaDonna's office. Think he's getting enough to eat? :-)

I'll continue blogging on the rest of the trip in the next few days...

Monday, April 30th

This day we thought would be the last real day of anxiety about the adoption. We always knew in the back of our minds that the birth mother couldn’t sign the “Act of Surrender” for at least 5 days, and Monday made it 6. We were anxious to get to our attorney’s office to sign our part and then just get ready to go home as soon as they’d let us. We received a call from our attorney who had just spoken to the birth mother and she said she was having car trouble (we gulped). We said, “we can pick her up if need be?” We waited for a call back from the attorney—it didn’t take long. “Yes, that would be fine to pick up Jonique and her mother and all 5 of us drive to Baton Rouge, LA.” We breathed a sigh of relief—we thought the car trouble might be an excuse for her to take another day to “think” about it.

If you’ve never been out of the western U.S. much, it does seem amazing that so much water can just sit around for so long……I kept thinking, why doesn’t this evaporate? The drive from Lafayette to Baton Rouge was interesting to us desert southwest people. I’ve never seen so much lush green and water—swamp actually. You’re pretty much on a bridge over a swamp the whole 50+ miles between the two cities. It ends with Horace Wilkinson Bridge, a massive bridge that goes over the Mississippi River, tall enough for large ships to go under—that’s not something you see in AZ!

We picked up Jonique and her mother in the late morning and graciously, both these southern women are easy to converse with. It didn’t take much to keep the conversation going. When we arrived at our attorney’s office (which was right in downtown Baton Rouge, very close to the Mississippi River, it looked like something out of a movie. A lot of old marble and very dark wood with painted gold lettering on the doors…..and hardly any lights in the halls—kind of like this picture I attached (I could kill myself for not getting a picture of the actual building when we were there).



We arrived at the attorney’s office mid morning and spent the next 2.5 hours essentially waiting and wondering. Here’s the e-mail I sent to a few family and close friends that day that sums up our experience:

Sent: Monday, April 30, 2007 4:20 PM
Today did not go as we had hoped. One of the potential birth fathers did contact our attorney this morning as well as the adoption agency. We don't know what is going to happen or if he will continue the process. He is apparently angry with the birth mother and is not sure what he wants to do. Because he told our attorney that he had an attorney, there was nothing more our attorney could say to him...even though he said he was lying and didn't really have an attorney! The way the 20 days works is that once each of the potential birth fathers has been served paperwork, then they have 20 days to contest it. It could take a week or more to serve them as the birth mother said that she does not know their addresses.

When the potential birth father called the agency he told one of the people that he spoke with that he did not want to stop the adoption, he just wanted to know if he was the father or not. And that if we were willing to send letters and pictures he would be ok. That is not what he told our attorney before he said he had an attorney.

The birth mother did sign all of the paperwork and it is irrevocable, but that was the easy part. We felt like we would be able to rest easy once she signed the paperwork today...God had other plans! He is asking us to trust HIM in this process and know that HE is in control, and we are NOT! We just can't imagine having to give him up after having him for several weeks or even months.

The birth mother was having car trouble today so we went and picked her and her mom up and drove them to Baton Rouge with us. We were nervous and prayed before we went to get them and God honored our prayers! The conversations went well and we were able to learn more about them and their family. Even on the way back and after the "drama" we conversed easily and the trip went fairly quickly. We are picking them up again tomorrow and going to lunch and then back to the hospital to get the medical records necessary to complete the ICPC paperwork (what we need to have approved before we can go HOME). They will send the paperwork off once Troy drives them back to the attorney's office tomorrow. The hospital said they would not have them ready until 1:30pm. It is an hour drive to the attorney's office and if the State doesn't get the paperwork by 3:00pm it won't get started until the next day. We are trusting God to work out those details and to continue to allow our conversations with the birth mother and her family to go well and that our fears do not come through too much when we talk to them.

All in all it was a very stressful day and we don't know what will happen next. We do know that the fees have already gone up because of all the drama. The attorney will call us and let us know just how much more he will need to complete the serving of the birth fathers since there are two potential fathers.

We are exhausted mentally and know that we may have a long road ahead of us in order to keep our little boy! Thank you for your prayers. They are coveted! We appreciate all of the love and support that you give.

We will talk to you soon.

Love,
LaDonna & Troy Blakemore

I’m a little ashamed that we didn’t share at least a little on how difficult it was for Jonique to sign the “Act of Surrender.” She was very tearful and asked for her mother to come into the room when it was over (she had to sign and give verbal recognition that what she was doing was not coerced. She had her own attorney present as well as a counselor that she met with prior to signing (all at our attorney’s office). We got back to the hotel around 2:30 after dropping Jonique and her mother off and we simply collapsed. Thankfully Mark was ready to sleep too. Not sure what we did the rest of the evening—our minds were racing and the conjectures were flying! I asked LaDonna at one point to tell me to STOP if I ask her another question that starts with, “I wonder if…” It was going to be a long week.

Saturday & Sunday, April 28-29th

The weekend was a little more relaxing, since we knew the attorney’s office was closed and we wouldn’t be getting any new info—good or bad. So, after sleeping in (yes, Mark slept great and we didn’t get up until 10am I think, he did eat at 6am of course) we decided we needed to leave the hotel room, so we went to the mall! LaDonna even decided to get a haircut and all the ladies at the JC Penney Salon went gaga over Mark. We rented a mall stroller and just cruised around a little bit—Mark of course slept like, well, a baby—a content one. :-) When you don’t know anyone and your life has just been turned upside down, little comforts seem bigger. We actually felt better when we got back to the hotel room—it was “home” for now and at least we felt secure there and had plenty to care for Mark. We didn’t feel adventuresome enough to go to church this first weekend (not to mention he’s only 5 days old). We spent most of the time praying, trying to catch cat naps, & watching the Discovery Channel (“Deadliest Catch”, “How it’s Made” and “Mythbusters” became instant favorites and took our minds off other things. I’m too cheap to pay for cable TV at home—but there’s some really cool stuff on Discovery!). It was our first weekend with Mark and we just tried to soak up as much time with him and as a family as possible. We knew Monday was just around the corner—the day Mark’s birth mother must sign the papers to legally give us custody of Mark.

Friday, April 27th

Since Mark was eating every 2.5-3 hours, Friday came very quickly! But we were glad to be a family and in a room by ourselves. Since we didn’t have a crib or bassinette with us (of course), Mark spent his first night out of the hospital, sleeping in his car seat (that we did check through the airline—a special thanks to our friends the Wong’s who lent us this car seat the Wednesday we got the call). The hospital staff was so great that they gave us much more than the usual supply of discharge items (formula, diapers, etc…). But, it wasn’t going to last long as much as he was eating. Mark was taking in 2 ounces at each feeding at only 3 days old (I was told that was a lot?). So, as we settled into our luxury suite (not!) at the Extended Stay hotel, I headed to SuperTarget to get groceries and a more suitable crib for little Mark. He spent the next 12 nights in his EvenFlo babysuite (we call them pack-n-plays & it was coordinated with his stroller/car seat travel system that was back home—pretty fancy for a Blakemore!). That day we did speak to our attorney, the social worker at the hospital, and the birth mother about what happened the previous night. They all also spoke to each other to get the full details at what happened. Early that morning, I sent this e-mail to a few family and friends:

Sent: Friday, April 27, 2007 7:38 AM
LaDonna and I are in need of serious prayer. A man claiming to be the birth father showed up at the hospital last night wanting to see the baby. Long story short, our attorney is now working with hospital staff and the birth mother to determine what steps need to be taken. We've now had the baby since 4pm yesterday, and can't imagine having to give him back. Please pass this on to all who will pray for us. Thanks. We'll send more details as we know later.

As promised, that afternoon we sent a few pictures to family and also to Mark’s birth mother. She responded the same day and was grateful we passed them on. Our stress level & sleep deprivation was high, for several obvious reasons, but LaDonna and I worked together beautifully—it’s amazing what minds and hearts with identical goals can accomplish. We shared the feedings and diaper changes and helped each other any way possible. Our first full day with Mark; despite all the things going through our minds, it was a great day. Amazing how much you can just STARE at a person and never get bored!

Thursday April 26th

We get out of bed at 3:15am, not much reason to lie there anymore anyways. We finish packing the final items and wait for our friends the Hoverson’s to pick us up and take us to the airport. I’m not looking forward to the flight, but realize there’s little choice. We were 2 of about only 30 people on the entire plane. It made it quite nice to fly for everyone to have their own row! We arrived in Houston about 10:30am. We’ve got about 3 hours before our flight to Jackson, so we can relax for a few hours—maybe catch a nap! LaDonna checks in with our attorney in Baton Rouge, LA and let him know when we’ll be able to get there. He quickly says, “why are you flying to Jackson, MI? The drive to Lafayette from Houston is closer than Jackson?” Really? Ok then—the “amazing race” feel for this trip begins again! We call Southwest Airlines and cancel the connecting flight to Jackson, then race down to their baggage claim department to get our bags before they ship them to Jackson! LaDonna goes to work on that, while I try to secure a car to drive to Lafayette. The ladies at baggage claim in Houston aren’t very helpful, until LaDonna tells them why we are getting our bags—then they snap into action, barking orders through their walkie talkies to “get these bags, because these people are adopting a baby and need to get to LA today!” LaDonna promises to that she will bring the baby to see them on our way home. After bartering with a few different car rental companies, AVIS wins and we’re off to Lafayette in our leather-trimmed Hyundai Sonata (not to shabby!). The drive goes very well; we’re actually enjoying just seeing a different part of the country. We arrive at the Women’s and Children’s hospital around 3:30pm in Lafayette (the attorney saved us at least 4 hours of travel time!). We page the social worker Leslie who escorts us to the room where Mark, his birth mother, grandmother, aunt, sister (who’s 5), and cousin (who’s 1). LaDonna and the birth mother Jonique hug immediately and there he is…..in that little clear plastic crib. It’s an amazing moment. We talk with Jonique for an hour or more and exchange information. We make plans to get together while we’re in town. The nurses have a few more discharge things to do. All the hospital staff is wonderful to us and we are surprised how easy it’s been to interact with the Jonique and her family. Apparently, they are all fully supportive of her adoption plan. We hug again, say goodbyes and Jonique leaves the hospital while Leslie escorts us to another room where we can just be with the baby for a while. We have to feed and change his diaper, etc…before they’ll discharge us. We have a great nurse Lacie who seems incredibly excited that we’ve adopted this little boy. We simply love it – it’s just the 3 of us in a nice quiet room. Any other time it would have been the most boring room to sit in and just stare; but today, we’re staring at our child. Our child! It seems surreal that yesterday we were in Phoenix at work/home and the next afternoon, were in Lafayette, LA holding our son! Around 6pm they are ready to discharge us and I leave to go pull the car up front. When I get back, LaDonna is in a wheelchair in the nursery with a lot of staff around her while she holds Mark. Apparently, while I was gone, a black male approached our nurse Lacie outside the nursery and wanted to see Jonique’s baby. Lacie told him, I don’t know who you are but I can’t give you any information. He appears frustrated, looks through the glass to see if he can see a child that has the correct last name, but since Mark is in LaDonna’s arms, he can’t find him and leaves. Hospital security is called and eventually the hospital QC and attorney persons also arrive to decide if the child can be discharged to us. This entire process takes another 2.5 hours—but we must say that the staff, all the staff, is very supportive and gracious to us (something we saw often, that great southern hospitality that’s missing in so much of America). LaDonna and I have now been up for nearly 40 hours and this new stress has energized us (amazing what adrenaline can do). Finally around 9:30pm we are allowed to leave to go to the hotel. Hospital security escorts us out a back exit in case that person is still around somewhere. We check into our Extended Stay hotel room and for the first time, breathe a momentary sigh. Mark during all of this was completely unaware, asleep and content. God knew we would need a good sleeper & eater with all that we were about to endure. I’m not sure what time we went to bed, but I was glad to finally lie down (after Mark was fed of course!). That was Thursday!

Wednesday, April 25th

Troy has a coffee meeting with Luke Simmons (pastor at our church) at 8:00 am, we talk about our small groups, the church in general and LaDonna and my hopes to adopt soon; we actually discuss it in great detail. Then I went home, it was my usual day off and I didn’t have a lot planned—so I thought. Around 10:00 am an American Adoptions social worker leaves a message to call her (she’s in Arkansas). At the same time, this social worker calls LaDonna and tells her there is a little girl in Arkansas that we’ve been chosen to adopt! Within a few minutes, there’s another call that she was wrong, it’s a little boy in Louisiana! She tells us that he was born last night at 5pm and we need to get to Lafayette, LA by tomorrow afternoon! Well, the scramble is on…….we call our friends the Hoverson’s who’s gift for several weeks has been that when we get the call—they will give us Southwest Airlines tickets anywhere they fly! Well, we contact Wayne and begin working on trying to get to New Orleans, LA, the only place Southwest flies in Louisiana. Wouldn’t you know it? It the Annual Jazz Fest in New Orleans and there are no seats available tomorrow—so our friend works diligently to try to get us close–Jackson, Mississippi. We tell him to book the tickets, since we at least will be able to get there by 7-8pm the following day. We leave at 6:15 am from Phoenix to Houston, layover for 3 hours then fly to Jackson and eventually drive to Lafayette. It’s not as soon as we want, but it’s the best we can do. We wait for the social worker to fax LaDonna the “match agreement” at her office and then we rush to a UPS store for a notary and to send it back overnight. At this point, Troy’s already stressed—he likes to PLAN things and he DOESN’T like to fly! BUT, he’s excited to meet this little boy! We begin to make calls to let people know what’s going on and think about what we’re going to need for 3 weeks potentially—and then PACK! The mad rush is on and what about our dogs? Troy’s brother, Terry and his wife Dee offer to take the dogs (even though they have a 5 year-old daughter, 3 year-old son, and 2 month-old daughter!). So as LaDonna works to secure a few things at work before she’s gone, I go home to get things ready to pack and to take our dogs to my brother’s house—in Surprise! That’s right, we live in Gilbert—it’s only about an hour away :-) ! We spend the rest of the evening packing and coordinating with friends and relatives on plans. We finally attempt to go to bed around 11 pm since we have to get up at 3:15am so we can leave by 4:15 am to catch the 6:15am flight to Houston. Shocker of all shockers, we didn’t sleep a wink….That was Wednesday.

Tuesday, April 24th, 2007

LaDonna and I both thought it a usual Tuesday. We went to work and came home as expected, but at 5:07pm that day, our son, Mark Andrew, was born.

Adoption journey

I'm working on compiling the day-to-day account of our journey to, during and from Lafayette, LA. Check back soon for more pictures and details of how we saw God's hand throughout. Here's one pic that most of you haven't seen - Mark in his "surrender" mode when he sleeps.... :-)

One of dad's favorite things to do! Apparently Mark likes it too!

Daddy's favorite picture thus far........we're getting ready to fly home from Houston, TX.

"I can hold my own binky, thank you!"

Troy gets ready to feed Mark. Our first days at the hotel in Lafayette, LA.

Mom's first picture with Mark

LaDonna's first meeting with Mark. He was just two days old here. (4/26/07)

Pictures of Mark Andrew

This is for those of you who could not see the pictures of Mark Andrew. I might blog as time permits on all that's happened thus far and going forward.