Tuesday, May 1st

Our hearts were heavy that morning. The emotional toll of yesterday rushed into our minds when we got up with Mark each time that morning. We knew that we had to have lunch with the birth mother and grandmother and get the medical records from the hospital and drive them to Baton Rouge. We didn’t want to think about the possibility of having to part with Mark, but everything we did that day reminded us of that possibility.

We again picked up Jonique and her mother at their apartment. We asked them to show us a place with some real Cajun cooking—heck we were in Louisiana! Might as well enjoy something we can’t get back home. So they took us to a place called Prejean’s (www.prejeans.com), subtitled “Simply Cajun.” You knew you were in the south when what greeted you at the door wasn’t a nice Elk head or even a Mountain Lion stuffed—no, a 30ft. Alligator! (which you can kind of see in the pic below). We had to have them explain what some of the menu items were, like “crawfish boudin balls” (Our chef’s house recipe of savory crawfish and rice boulettes fried golden and served by the half dozen). LaDonna had crawfish enchiladas (Fresh crawfish tails, chilies & cheeses rolled in 2 flour tortillas, topped with crawfish & Creaole sauces, cheddar cheese and baked golden. Served with dirty rice and corn macque choux) and I had blackened shrimp skillet creole (6 large Louisiana shrimp dusted with the Magic of the Bayou, lightly blackened and served with our famous red beans & rice). It was all really good. This little bumper sticker they sold let you know you were in the bayou!

Our conversations went well again with Jonique and her mother—we were amazed at Jonique’s apparent strength through all of this. At one point when LaDonna had left to change Mark, I let Jonique know more details about that last Thursday night. She said she’d talk to him and “straighten him out.” We hoped so.

When lunch was over, I dropped LaDonna and Mark off at the hotel and then took Jonique and her mother to the hospital—she had to sign to give us the records. When that was done I took both of them home and then prepared to drive to Baton Rouge myself to our attorney’s office. It was one of the longest 100-mile (round trip) drives I’ve ever taken. I have never felt so alone and yet grateful that God is on my side. I don’t know how unbelievers deal with big life events—to think that everything is random and somewhat meaningless, especially pain, would be so far beyond depressing. While I was driving to the attorney, LaDonna received a call from our attorney. She called me on the road to tell me. I’ll paste her e-mail to immediate family here:

Sent: Tuesday, May 01, 2007 1:47 PM
We received a call from our attorney just a little bit ago letting us know that the one potential birth father does want to have a paternity test done and that if he is the father he is going to fight for him. We are trusting in God to help us understand all that is really happening here. We feel like we are in a very bad dream and want to wake up and discover this is not what is really happening and that our minds are just playing tricks on us since we are sleep deprived!

We had lunch with Jonique and her mom. Troy was able to talk to Jonique a little bit about the potential birth father while I was changing Mark in the restroom. I also called her once I got off of the phone with the attorney. She said that she is going to call this guy and get him straightened out. I pray for that conversation as I don't want him to get even more angry with her and want to fight harder.

Troy is driving to Baton Rouge now to take the medical records to the attorney. Please pray for him as he is driving and thinking about all that is going on and I am not there with him. Pray that God will comfort him as he is driving and keep him safe. The drivers are worse here than in Phoenix if you can believe that!

We have received so many encouraging emails. Words cannot express how much that means to us. We feel like we are in the fight of our life and realize it is not our fight! It is God's and we know HIS will be done, even if it is not ours. We are trying to soak up every moment that we can with Mark. We believe that we will be able to bring him back to Arizona, but we don't know when. Our attorney is going to try to get it to where we will have our portion of the tests done in AZ, but we don't know for sure if that will happen. I am hoping he will be able to talk to Troy when he gets there and have more details for us.

We will keep you posted...

Thank you again for your prayers.

Love,

Troy and LaDonna

When I arrived at the attorney’s office, he was gone for the day, so I didn’t get any more information. I just wanted to get back to the hotel as soon as I could. LaDonna and I shed a lot of tears that evening. We received a lot of encouraging e-mails and phone calls that day—God knew we needed it. Here are a couple e-mails that stood out that day:

From Troy’s cousin Matt & Marie:

Dearest Troy and LaDonna,

Hang in there! Don’t give up until God’s best is realized! I don’t know if this little boy is your son forever or just for little while, none of us ever know that-birth parents or adoptive parents. This is what parenting is. Control is nothing more than an illusion God allows us from time to time, especially when it comes to assisting Him in getting our children, raising them and then letting them go. God is making your entire way! He won’t just bring you a child and then say, “Wow, those fees really added up! Hope you can work that out”. You trust Him for all of it! You can do this! You are doing this! Praise Him! Thanks sincerely for the update! We will continue to pray…always because getting our children is just part of the story! Then comes the raising them!!! God is able, and therefore we are. Be well, and trust in Him. God’s best is happening in you, through you, and for you!

With all our love,

M&M

And this one from Troy’s brother:

Troy and LaDonna,

I received a call from DeLinda and my heart is heavy for you all and Mark. I’ll be praying with great expectation that God will strengthen you as you ready yourself for this fight. The fight of course isn’t against flesh and blood but against principalities and the rulers of darkness, so may the Word bring great strength to you as this all proceeds. We will be ready to support you in any way possible including financial when you figure out more details. We look forward to talking with you more tonight.

Terry

I remember at one point saying to either Terry or my dad on the phone, that I felt so sad for Mark in all of this—that his chance to be with a mother and a father, who have the time to really care for him and raise him up to love Jesus, might be taken from him. I think that Tuesday might have been one of the worst days of my life that I can remember. The pain in my stomach and my mind that I could not shake seemed unbearable, and then God would send someone to encourage us through e-mail or a phone call. The realization that no children are “owned” by their parents, but are on loan to us, gave us great perspective and helped ease our minds and the pain—and re-focused us to soak up every last minute with Mark that we could. We simply don’t know the future and nothing is promised. If you’re not familiar with Casting Crowns, their song “Praise you in this Storm” seemed to be playing often on the Christian Radio station we found in Lafayette. Its lyrics would constantly bring comfort and yet remind us of the truth that God gives and takes away—I’ve posted them here:

"Praise You In This Storm"

I was sure by now
That You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

Finally, this reminded me of a post I’d seen on my pastor’s blog:

"Today 10,000 airplanes will take off and land and no one will stop to thank God for the grace that it took to make it safely. But as soon as anything bad happens, we are quick to call God's love and goodness into question."

LaDonna and I pray that we continue to trust God for all that he’s done and will do—regardless of the circumstance.