Thursday, May 3rd

The days (and nights) started running together at this point. But today, WAS going to be significant. About mid-morning we received a call from Jonique that the potential birth father wanted to meet us. We were completely torn about what to do. So we contacted our attorney to see what he thought and he said to go ahead and meet him. Instantly our minds began to race about all the horrible things he might say or do (or even just look like). I wonder how I might have been perceived, because I felt that I would have to be ready for anything (like him attempting to physically take Mark from us at the Restaurant). We called Jonique back and said that we would meet with him—in fact, let’s have dinner at a restaurant (a public place seemed the only option to me).

So we went to Copeland’s (another fine Louisiana restaurant with great Jambalaya!) LaDonna and I both had little to no appetite; it might be the first time we ever shared a meal. We ordered the Jambalaya Pasta (Shrimp, chicken, andouille and smoked sausages, all in a spicy jambalaya sauce with peppers and mushrooms over penne pasta), I don't think we even ate half of it. It would have been really good, in a different setting. My e-mail to family summarizes our evening nicely, plus it’s easier to cut and paste, than really remember!:

The meeting with the birth father went very well. We didn't think he would see Mark and simply give us custody. We do think that we gave him a lot to think about and possibly that his comfort level may have increased when he could see where Mark is and who he is with. He was very gracious, reasonable, and quite likable--we're not sure how to feel about this--it was somewhat easier when he was seen as the "enemy." We continue to pray that he is not the birth father or that he comes to the conclusion that it's best for Mark to be with us. We will continue to fight him legally if need be, but at least we know that if he is the birth father, he's not a "loser." He repeated over and over that he doesn't want to hurt anyone and that he is incredibly torn. It was clear that he fell in love when seeing Mark--a risk we felt was worth taking at this point. We exchanged contact info and took pictures with him, even hugged at the end of the dinner with many tears shed on both sides. I think the birth father and we agree that the birth mother did not handle this well by not telling him and we believe she sees the pain she has caused in so many lives now by not being up front. It's not clear if she really knows who the birth father is (between two).

LaDonna and I are exhausted at our own speculations and realize that only God knows how this will turn out. The lesson in patience and trust has been more than I thought we could bear, but it's amazing what you can do when you have to. Thank you all for continuing to pray to God to make Mark a permanent part of our family.

We hope to be home by Wednesday or Thursday next week--but won't hold our breath.

About 20 minutes after we got back to the hotel, Donovan (the potential birth father), called LaDonna’s cell phone to say thanks for meeting with him—we think it was a test to see if we gave him a good number. We immediately sent several pictures & our profile by e-mail to him as promised. We also sent him this question to which we never received a reply: “We did think of a question that we wish we had asked you. We hope you take it with the same spirit as the rest of our conversation at the restaurant. If you are not the biological father, does it change the way you feel about Mark Andrew?” I would have liked to know what went through his mind when he read it.

We spoke to immediate family by phone that evening and received great encouragement that we made a good decision in meeting with Donovan. We also were appropriately pointed back to God for strength. It’s been said many times, but it’s worth repeating—“you can hear God say, ‘You’ll never understand that I’m all you need, until I’m all you have.’”