If you’ve never been out of the western U.S. much, it does seem amazing that so much water can just sit around for so long……I kept thinking, why doesn’t this evaporate? The drive from Lafayette to Baton Rouge was interesting to us desert southwest people. I’ve never seen so much lush green and water—swamp actually. You’re pretty much on a bridge over a swamp the whole 50+ miles between the two cities. It ends with Horace Wilkinson Bridge, a massive bridge that goes over the Mississippi River, tall enough for large ships to go under—that’s not something you see in AZ!
We picked up Jonique and her mother in the late morning and graciously, both these southern women are easy to converse with. It didn’t take much to keep the conversation going. When we arrived at our attorney’s office (which was right in downtown Baton Rouge, very close to the Mississippi River, it looked like something out of a movie. A lot of old marble and very dark wood with painted gold lettering on the doors…..and hardly any lights in the halls—kind of like this picture I attached (I could kill myself for not getting a picture of the actual building when we were there).
We arrived at the attorney’s office mid morning and spent the next 2.5 hours essentially waiting and wondering. Here’s the e-mail I sent to a few family and close friends that day that sums up our experience:
Sent: Monday, April 30, 2007 4:20 PM
Today did not go as we had hoped. One of the potential birth fathers did contact our attorney this morning as well as the adoption agency. We don't know what is going to happen or if he will continue the process. He is apparently angry with the birth mother and is not sure what he wants to do. Because he told our attorney that he had an attorney, there was nothing more our attorney could say to him...even though he said he was lying and didn't really have an attorney! The way the 20 days works is that once each of the potential birth fathers has been served paperwork, then they have 20 days to contest it. It could take a week or more to serve them as the birth mother said that she does not know their addresses.
When the potential birth father called the agency he told one of the people that he spoke with that he did not want to stop the adoption, he just wanted to know if he was the father or not. And that if we were willing to send letters and pictures he would be ok. That is not what he told our attorney before he said he had an attorney.
The birth mother did sign all of the paperwork and it is irrevocable, but that was the easy part. We felt like we would be able to rest easy once she signed the paperwork today...God had other plans! He is asking us to trust HIM in this process and know that HE is in control, and we are NOT! We just can't imagine having to give him up after having him for several weeks or even months.
The birth mother was having car trouble today so we went and picked her and her mom up and drove them to Baton Rouge with us. We were nervous and prayed before we went to get them and God honored our prayers! The conversations went well and we were able to learn more about them and their family. Even on the way back and after the "drama" we conversed easily and the trip went fairly quickly. We are picking them up again tomorrow and going to lunch and then back to the hospital to get the medical records necessary to complete the ICPC paperwork (what we need to have approved before we can go HOME). They will send the paperwork off once Troy drives them back to the attorney's office tomorrow. The hospital said they would not have them ready until 1:30pm. It is an hour drive to the attorney's office and if the State doesn't get the paperwork by 3:00pm it won't get started until the next day. We are trusting God to work out those details and to continue to allow our conversations with the birth mother and her family to go well and that our fears do not come through too much when we talk to them.
All in all it was a very stressful day and we don't know what will happen next. We do know that the fees have already gone up because of all the drama. The attorney will call us and let us know just how much more he will need to complete the serving of the birth fathers since there are two potential fathers.
We are exhausted mentally and know that we may have a long road ahead of us in order to keep our little boy! Thank you for your prayers. They are coveted! We appreciate all of the love and support that you give.
We will talk to you soon.
Love,
LaDonna & Troy Blakemore
I’m a little ashamed that we didn’t share at least a little on how difficult it was for Jonique to sign the “Act of Surrender.” She was very tearful and asked for her mother to come into the room when it was over (she had to sign and give verbal recognition that what she was doing was not coerced. She had her own attorney present as well as a counselor that she met with prior to signing (all at our attorney’s office). We got back to the hotel around 2:30 after dropping Jonique and her mother off and we simply collapsed. Thankfully Mark was ready to sleep too. Not sure what we did the rest of the evening—our minds were racing and the conjectures were flying! I asked LaDonna at one point to tell me to STOP if I ask her another question that starts with, “I wonder if…” It was going to be a long week.
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